A Beautiful Answer - Thank you Mr.God!!

“You are surrounded by so many awesome people” said an FB comment by a dear friend below the post. “I am”, I thought to myself. I was so touched by everything around me. I immediately looked above to thank the one who has been so generous to me.

Last week my mind was rambling with a thought, a not so positive one. A painful memory caused by few people resurfaced. And as it is with every memory it refused to vacate my mind for some time. I was lost between questions of why and what? I felt like choked between pain and disappointment. I never did anything wrong to them, then why was it that I was ill treated? May be they didn't like me then why weren’t they honest about it? Why did they have to stab me on my back so hard? And the final question was posed to God himself, “why is it so difficult for people to love and care”? The answer was never clear in the past and it wasn’t clear now either. That frustrated me further. But the trust that God will answer my question did make a part of my heart peaceful.

All this bothered me for a day. I wasted 24 hours of my precious life on such negative emotions. And while I was trying to pull myself up and out of this crater, there was something so beautiful that God and a very lovable person was planning for me.

I was working on something and beep came an sms from Giri (you can read about Giri in my post “MAD ME”). The message mentioned that Giri had updated her blog with a new post. I am absolutely in love with Giri and her works. Be it quilling or cooking, writing or stitching, I am a complete fan. So I logged in immediately to read her new brain child. I felt so upset when I realized that I couldn't see her new post at all. I informed Giri and her reply was a “:( ”.

Later, I logged in again just to see if the new post was visible now. And to my surprise the post was about Giri’s very close friend. It was about someone who is very close to her heart. Tears rolled down my cheeks. The post was about her mad friend, “Khushi”. I read through it and realized that a friend of mine has so much of love for me. I was so touched by her gesture that I couldn’t speak some time (it is very rare that a chatting machine like me feels speechless). I just messaged her letting her know that her post came like an answer to a question that had been bothering me for a long time now.

The answer was simple. It is very easy to love and care. There is something more that I have learnt from this episode. We always cry over things that we don’t have. But we fail to appreciate and thank for all the wonderful gifts that are bestowed upon us. I was raving because some people broke my trust and treated me wrong. However I failed to look around. There were so so many wonderful people who have been filling my life with their abundant unconditional love and care. They have always been in my thick and thin. They have been reasons for the joy in my life. Probably these beautiful people are the reason why the world still has faith in love and goodness.

I looked up and thanked HIM for all that he has given me. He has blessed me with such loving parents, a very affectionate and caring husband, crazy yet lovable siblings, my extended family and some dear friends and well wishers who have been my family while I am away from home. I must have done something really good in my past lives, because I haven’t done anything now to deserve all this.

The link to Giri’s article is here. You can read it too. I am completely humbled by her words.

http://petite-merveille.blogspot.in/2012/06/mad-me.html

P.S.: I am so glad Giri and I are MAD. Only two mad people can have seamless love for each other in the world of today.

It's all about MMS and Madness!!

He was sitting right behind me in the cab. I looked at him and smiled. He responded with a larger smile. I can never forget his first look. I can only describe him as a lanky chap with a smile that’s so infectious. He wore lavender (purple according to him) colored T-shirt that had some weird thing scribbled on it, and spectacles that covered his beautiful eyes, completely. He looked like a typical progeny of some engineering college of India. The ones who study all night so that they can fill up the answer sheet with their formulas and derivations the next morning. Yes, he looked like a complete “intellectual nerd”. The only thing that held my attention was a huge violin that covered his frame. “So you play Violin?” I enquired. “Yes, I do” he replied politely. “Great, from when?” I was eager to know. “It’s been some time and I love it”. He finally ended the conversation. We reached our destination and he was soon a face I had once seen.

A few days after our first meeting I met him in the cafeteria. “Hey, how are you?” I was so glad to see him again. His face broke in to his infectious smile. “I am good”, he replied softly. We chatted for some time and moved on with work and this somehow became the trend. Of course the length of the discussions would increase with every meeting and the topics too varied. We became friends, then good friends and finally very good friends.

How does one describe this special friend? I am either falling short of words or maybe, just maybe I am unable to explain his simplicity in the complexity of words. MMS speaks more than required, often. And everything he blabbers makes for a perfect “nonsense”. He can drive you crazy with his “cheeky dialogues”, freshly picked from some flop bollywood movie. Yes, you are so right, he is mad, totally mad. Then why is that I have grown so fond of him?

MMS is not the regular guy you come across. He is different. He is simple in his thoughts and humble in his actions. And he is certainly not the one who would be a forgotten memory ever. He stays in your mind long enough for you to fall in love with him. He has this innate ability of liking everything that life has to offer. He has no pre-requisites for happiness. He is happy. He loves everything around him (including all the lovely girls too). MMS is so funny that he can make can make a dead man laugh and giggle (his smile is seriously infectious). He has a zest for life and that’s pretty infectious too. “I just want all of you to be happy”, this is what MMS told me during one of our never ending non sense conversations. I was so moved with his words. And that was the first and last time this nerd spoke sense.

MMS plays violin so well that each string wrings the strings of your heart. His love for music is visible everytime he holds the violin in his hand. I remember his message on FB after our annual family event. The message said, “Thank you for giving me this opportunity. Violin means the world to me”. Silly sentimentalist, I thought to myself.

Insane, crazy, mad, lovable, adorable, unconventional etc, you can call him anything. He still continues to be the nerd I once met, the nerd I liked and the nerd who has become my closest friend. It is so strange that some people just walk in to your life, ignite a small lamp of joy in your heart and bring with them warmth that stays with you forever. MMS has just done that.

MMS in one of his performances

The Joy Of Our Friendship!!

We have laughed several smiles,

And shared many tears,

We have walked several miles,

Like friends of years.

To each other we taught,

Those lessons of life,

Some that love had brought,

And some of bitter strife.

From the first few silent glances,

We have come a long way,

On the tidal waves of togetherness,

To the love of this day.

There is so much more to give,

There is so much more to share,

There is so much more to live,

And there is so much more to care.

Written for 2 mad friends.... Girija Shetty Deshpande and Khushboo Singh Rana!!

The Wonderful Woman!!

“Happy Woman’s Day” he wished me and gave a tight hug. I thanked him and got back to my morning chores. Tea was ready and as every morning we were having our tea together. “Thank you for being such a wonderful woman”, he complimented me with a sweet smile. I thanked him again; however, the flattering “wonderful woman” part didn’t go quite well with me. I did not want to hurt him yet I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “What is so wonderful about me? I am an ordinary woman who does ordinary things”. He took a deep breath and answered, “You do wonderful things everyday and don’t even realize it”. The conversation was interesting but it was time to leave for office, so the conversation ended with

a last sip of our masala chai.

The entire day went in running around at work, celebrating Woman’s day, felicitating women folks etc etc. While I had completely forgotten about the “wonderful woman tag talk”, this thought ran through his mind all day. After dinner he put forward a question to me. “Do you really think that you are not wonderful? The blank look on his face was amusing. What’s wrong with my husband? I thought to myself.  So I replied with a, “hmmm”. I believe he was prepared for this answer. He promptly said, “I can list at least 100 things that you do so wonderfully”. I laughed at his confidence and said, “Alright, let me hear at least one of them”.

He smiled and walked towards me. He looked in to my eyes and very softly said, “You are a lovely wife, daughter, sister, and a friend. At each of these roles you put your heart and soul. Isn't this selfless love wonderful? Even after a tired hectic day, every evening you welcome me with a smile on your face, isn't this wonderful? You understand every bit of my silence, isn't this wonderful? In the most troubled times you have brought cheer with your giggles and that I say is so wonderful”, he announced with a pride in his voice.

I had no answer to any of this. I just wondered if this tall handsome man holding me was from this world. I am not sure if all that he said was really magical or wonderful. Sometimes it’s the love between two people which makes life magical. May be just may be. But all said and done, for a day at least I want to believe that I am a wonderful woman. And the most wonderful thing about me is this wonderful man who loves me unconditionally.

Sometimes the most ordinary things in life are the most wonderful things in the world.

The "Mom" Phenomena!!

Last night I was chatting with a dear friend. The usual conversation became so special and beautiful that both of us were touched. I wouldn't say more… I have copied the chat for you to read. I am sure you will also find it as beautiful, as we did. So, happy reading!!!

She: hey hi
Me: Hi, Lovely lady…where have you been?
She: I have been to London to see the Queen…hahahaha…
Me: shocked…..
She: Chill… My sense of humor still sucks…
Me: I can see that :P
She: frown frown
Me: Ok you rock; I love your jokes… Happy?
She: very happy.
Me: so when are we meeting?
She: Diwali… I am coming on Diwali.
Me: Super… let’s gang up this time.
She: we will.
Me: When’s diwali, by the way?
She: I don’t know. Let me call up Mom and check.
Me: Ok, let me check with mine too.

Pause for 20 minutes.

Me: are you back?
She: Yes… was talking to Mom.
Me: I understand. Me too
She: Can’t do without her. Man, I need to call her up for everything.
Me: I talk to her twice a day, sometimes thrice too ;)
She: hee hehehe … me too….Damn, she knows everything.
Me: Yeah… That’s why she is “MOM”.
She: who said Google was the only search engine…. Ask Mom anything and she has an answer.
Me: Lolzzzzzz…. I so agree. Sometimes more than that ya.
She: You are so right…. If I need an advice I call up mom.
Me: If I feel down I call her.
She: If I am very happy I call her.
Me: If I make a mistake, I call her.
She: If I need ideas, I call her.
Me: If I am bored I call her.
She: When I am cooking a new recipe I call her.
Me: When I am draping a saree, I call her… Sigh!! (The woes of an Indian woman ;))
She: When I have to bitch, I call her… hahahaha!!
Me: hahahaha… when I receive an appreciation, I call her.
She: When I miss her, I call her.

Pause for 10 seconds.

Me: all ok?
She: Missing her… it’s been so long I have hugged her. Marriages make you do so much.

Pause for 10 seconds

She: all ok?
Me: me too missing her… she is coming in May… Hurray!!
She: lovely… make the most out of it.
Me: I will… I have told her I want to have kheer that she makes… she makes it awesomely awesome.
She: you will seriously make the most out of it.
Me: of course… I love her ya… she is so wonderful.
She: all Mom’s are…right?
Me: So true… all moms are wonderful.
She: Now you know why we are aren’t mothers, yet? Hyuk hyuk
Me: hmmm…. True and I “will never be”. Winks winks!!!
She: Me too me too. Same pinch!!
She: What would the world be without Moms?
Me: Dead …. Moms add life to life.

“I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars” - E.M. Forster

I SHALL SEEK THEE!!

One day I shall seek THEE,

To obtain answers,

I shall walk thy path,

To know what it means to be.

I shall ask,

If you were the witness,

Of the torment and turmoil,

My feeble body went through,

the one carved by you?

I shall ask,

If you ever heard,

The cries of my little chords,

And the screams of my heart,

When in hope, I called out to you?

I shall ask,

If you did feel,

The pain of my numb cells,

The death in every breath,

And then the desire to give up?

I shall ask,

If you ever tasted,

The grief as my creator,

and the anguish to destroy,

The one who killed me?

Perhaps, Thou shall then,

Turn your forlorn face,

On this shabby mug,

And the battered soul of mine.

O Creator of the world,

Yet, I shall seek Thee,

To ask your mighty being,

Did you ever love me?

Thou created the filthy world,

And thou too created me,

Yet I felt lost and hurt,

Ain’t I a part of Thee?

I was frail and fragile,

As gentle as I can be,

Why did you not then,

Guard me from the beast?

I am a tiny speck of dust,

And to dust I shall flee,

Yet my lovely God of Gods,

Yours and yours I shall be.

As a tribute to all the little defenseless daughters who have lost their lives to the brutalities of mankind/beast kind.

MAD ME!!

“Do you like green color?” The voice on the other end asked. “Yes, I replied, I love all dark, bright and vibrant colors”. “Ok”, came a prompt reply. The conversation ended and I completely forgot about the “green color”. Yesterday she called up again. “When does the courier guy come to your office?” I could sense a lot of impatience in her voice. “He will come in the noon. Why?” I answered with a question. “Nothing”, she said and hung up. After an hour she called up again, “Has the courier guy come?” “Not yet” I answered again. Why? She inquired like a child waiting for a surprise. “It will come in sometime, I will let you know”. She again replied with a usual “OK “and it sounded so sad. By now I could smell a fish. I immediately questioned her, “Have you sent something?” And the answer to this was a child like giggle on the other end. “Yes”, she replied. “Hmmm……I paused... well let me check and call you”. I hung up.

The courier guy was in by now and he was holding a courier for me. The security guard carefully handed it over to me. “Madam, aapke liye hai”, he said. I smiled and took it. I did not have the patience
to reach my desk and open it. I began un-wrapping it right at the reception counter blocking
way for so many employees. Was I bothered? Naaa .. I cautiously un-wrapped the gift and out
came a beautiful looking Journal. It had a “GREEN COVER” on which a loved one had very beautifully embroidered “MAD ME” (for all those who don’t know, “MAD ME” is the name of my diary where I open my heart everyday). I was so touched with this gesture. I opened the journal and found a love filled note on the first page. My smile spread from one ear to the other. I am the super expressive kinds, yet, yesterday I found no words to express my gratitude to this special person who had taken out time to make something so beautiful for me.

I had first met her when I joined this new organization some eight months back. She had big bright eyes, round cheeks and a child like grin that can make even a dead man smile. “Girija Shetty”, she introduced
herself. “Khushboo Singh”, I promptly replied. We spoke for sometime about work and some random
stuff. She works out of Belgaum while I am placed in Bangalore. So regular meetings were not possible,
yet we would often speak on phone (thanks to our team meetings). Slowly and steadily we started
getting close. Honestly I didn’t realize when I started calling her “Giri” and found that her mails often addressed me as “Khushi”. When did this transition take place? Only God knows. But as we grew together, we realized we were so similar yet so different. We shared our interest towards arts, crafts, writing, reading, cooking( baking ), trekking, travelling and chatting.

Yet we are different and I believe that is what makes our friendship so unique and so beautiful. As
mentioned in my previous posts, I am this impulsive woman, whereas Giri is this grounded and patient
girl. She has been a constant support for me while I was still settling in the new system. We often call
each other to share a joke and laugh together. We also share all the difficult situations we encounter
in our everyday lives and the solutions towards them. There are certain times when share the woes of
being an “HR” . Well, the best part about her is that she is an optimist from head to toe. She always
helps us look at the brighter side of the picture. And with her “looking beyond” attitude the team has
achieved a lot. She is upright honest about everything and that makes her all the more special. There is
no fake mask to unveil. She is as she is, humble yet assertive.

I have always wondered why do I find some people so beautiful and lovable? They quietly walk in to
my life and build a place in my heart. I have no answer to this and I am sure I will never have. Giri calls
herself “small” but she doesn’t know that she has a heart that’s large enough to love millions like me out
there.

Giri, the “MAD ME” means so much to me. It will always remind me of the madness that we have shared. It is also a reminder of the giggles that has added joy to our lives. Those insane ideas that have travelled to and fro through this beautiful invention called the “telephone”. It is a symbol of the love and care I have received from you. Every time I will open the journal to scribble my thoughts, I will remember to look at the world with a different perspective, the perspective that was introduced to me by you. And please note: the Journal is as beautiful as you are.

That’s about "MAD ME"… and about two mad friends who are so far yet so close!!