Dear Nandita

Dear Nandita,

When you first told me I should update my blog little did I know that soon I’d be writing about you. Today our conversations are playing in my head, in a loop. We’ve spent such a good time together in such little time. Funny, isn’t it? But then you left suddenly. You did not give me any warning. Or maybe you did. May be I thought your “I-won’t-ever-give-up” spirit will win again. But one day I woke up and realized that you are not around anymore. I woke up to the harsh reality that I don’t have the luxury of calling you and asking you to meet for a cup of tea. That now when the fire alarm beeps I can no longer find refuge in your house with you. That I can no longer discuss my office worries with you. That I can no longer tell you anything. That I can no longer go on those little picnics at Glendora with you. That I won’t see you anymore. And that my friend has broken my heart in to a million pieces. Your sudden departure has left a void in my heart. Your leaving us has wounded our souls and we will all take a long time to heal. You left us too soon, too soon.

But today I won’t write about all of this. Today I will write about the wonderful person that you were. I will write about how beautifully you celebrated life! I will write about the wonderful time we spent celebrating our little friendship. Today as I take stock of my life I understand that our friendship blossomed over cups of tea (your masala chai will always be my favorite), over random rumblings, over books, over spiritual journeys of people we have known, and sometimes giggling at our childish husbands too. 😊 We were not best friends, or childhood friends, or long times buddies. We were just friends. Friends who were always happy to see each other.

We laughed at stupid things like crazy. Reminds me of the time when these boys brought the huge flask for my “single” cup of tea. They convinced me that they are visionaries and that I must make tea for them henceforth to award them for their “intelligence”. I am still laughing at it Nandita and I know some where you are laughing too. You remember how we smiled when Rakesh cracked horrible PJ’s? I wonder why we never told me how terrible his jokes were! You remember how we laughed like crazy when Harsh imitated that Chinese man drooling over women. Uff!! It was hilarious. You remember how Harsh was sitting like a round laddoo until he convinced us to go to Wonderland with him? Do you remember those funny looking glasses that Harsh and Rakesh picked up? I still have them. 

This is my favourite photo of ours.

In the little time that we had together you taught me so much, Nandita. Your attitude of never giving up is so much to learn from. You’ve taught me to remain positive in the most difficult situations. You’ve taught me to forgive and let go. You’ve taught me to live in the now, in today. You’ve taught me to face difficulties head on. You are the bravest person I have ever known, Nandita. You braved such a disease with your smile. You never complained or whined. You never questioned the pain you went through. And that is how I will always remember you.

You’ve taught me to be grateful, Nandita. So, today I am grateful that we met. Although for very little time our paths crossed and we made memories. Ones that will stay with me for a long time. Our trip to Port Hope will always be my favorite. We had planned so much more but we couldn’t do everything. There is so much more that I need to tell you. There is so much more to do. I have been told that one day we all meet our loved ones on the other side. That gives me hope. I have been told that you are in a much better place and that you were meant for a higher purpose. Shreya told us today that now you have everything you need. I believe her. My dear friend you have embarked on a new journey and I am sure this will be one of peace and love.

The next time I go to Tim Horton’s I will look for you, Nandita. Hoping to see you in that corner sitting on the couch waving at me and telling me how they never have your favorite bagel.

You’ve brightened every life you touched. Saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I ever did. Be happy wherever you are!

Until we meet again on the other side, I’ll miss you my Hero.

Love,

Khushboo

P.S. Today I wore the stole you gifted me on my birthday. I was hoping you will see it.