Before you assume anything about this particular blog post, let me warn you that this is going to be a completely non informative and a annoyingly ludicrous post. In case you still wish to proceed, then, “Management will not be held responsible for your lost belongings”, which in this case will be a part of your brain. The decision is entirely, YOURS!
So, The Curious Case of “Aging Ovaries” began long long ago, right from the time mankind existed and evolved on Earth. As this species called "man" evolved from Stone Age to Homo Habilis to Homo Erectus and finally to Homo Sapiens; similarly, the ovaries also evolved and passed through various stages of evolution. We can even name it as "Homo Ovariens" to make it sound a little ancient and biological. Sounds nice, no?
If you think that this curious case is an easy one to solve, huh, let me tell you, you are mistaken. This case is distinct for each woman and is resolved (or at times remains unresolved) by certain long distant relatives, mostly aunties in their early fifties and sixties. But at times, research has also shown that relatively younger aunties have also shown interest in resolving this for women younger to them.
Do you still not get it? No worries. Help is at hand.
If you are a woman and have been married for some time, then I am certain that you at some point in time must have encountered women from various groups asking you about your future plans. And if you were like me and thought that they were genuinely interested in your career plans, or plans about your health or education then I am sure you must have fallen flat on your face, just like I did.
It began six months after my wedding when I was celebrating my 25th birthday. Along with warm wishes and blessings, I was also bestowed with age old, tried and tested tips on how pregnancy and having babies can bring joy to my life. Since it was coming from my loved ones I could easily brush it aside saying that I wasn’t prepared, yet. Then almost 6 months later, as I was celebrating my first wedding anniversary, it started all over again. I was flooded with tips on conceiving and pregnancy from distant relatives who hadn’t even seen me for ages. Usually this information reached me through the most “easy to convince” medium, my mother. I would laugh at it and this would put my mother in trouble. She couldn’t understand if I was NORMAL. Well, she is still confused.
Since then the intensity of tips and suggestions and free advices have been increasingly going up on the graph. Some of the examples are listed below:
1. The Pro-creation Test: What is wrong with you? You are turning 26 and you have not pro-created even once? Sheesh!
Me in my head: Though I was doing well with my work, my relationship with my husband was amazing, I had still failed the Pro-creation Test!
2. Go see a Doc: What are you doing? 27 is the right age to have a baby. See, don’t hide from me. If you are having any problems, go see a doc. Some doctors do magic and within 3 months you will be “TOING”! Then this person pointed towards my tummy and pinched me mischievously and winked.
Me in my head: No wonder the ad, Ye to baba TOING hai became so notoriously famous! Sigh!
3. Ding Dong, anyone?: Hey are you not planning a baby yet? Been married for 3 years, no? Are you not getting time to do “DING DONG”? Winking!
Me in my head: DING DONG? Really? People do ding dong to have babies? That means the famous dance number by Madhuri Dixit was actually a song promoting Pro-creation? Darn! I am enlightened!
4. Count the "THAT" : Hey, see if everything is alright with you then you must get your husbands THAT counted. You know what I am saying na? If you are hesitant, then I can ask my husband to talk to him. A very serious and intense look!
Me in my head: Yeah! Your husband seems to be an expert at counting, THAT!
5. Ripe Mangoes? Err Ripe Ovaries: See, at this age our ovaries are very ripe. One shot and we will be pregnant. You must plan your first baby now.
Me in my head: Wondering which shot is she talking about? Are babies planted through a shot? EEESH!
6. Marriage on Rocks?: Babes, any problem in your marriage? See love marriages don’t last long. But I suggest you must see a marriage counsellor. Once you are sorted, go ahead and have a baby soon. After that you will not even need your husband.
Me in my head: Really? then where do these husbands go? Mystery still unsolved.
7. An annoying tag: Don’t you love children? They are so adorable and cute. Darn! How can you guys (R & I) not like children? tears welling up in her eyes!
Me in my head: Annoyed and throwing imaginary things at this person. I even threw a rotten tomato and stale egg...Grrrr!
And the most scandalous.....
8. The Aging Ovaries: See just like we age, our body ages too and our reproductory system along with us. So before your ovaries are over aged, you must and should plan a baby.
Me in my head: Aunty, do not worry. My ovaries are subjected to intense yoga everyday and they are rocking as Madonna, inside me.
The list is endless and with creativity pouring out of people’s ears, I suspect the list will continue to increase. Do not get me wrong. I have immense respect for women who take this major decision of having babies. It is indeed a daunting task. Carrying a child inside you for 9 long months, then enduring extreme levels of pain and delivering the child, going through physical, emotional, and hormonal changes, attending to every little need of the child, laughing with it and crying with it... and so on and so forth. No wonder they say, “There is no parallel for your mother elsewhere in the world”.
Some of my best friends have recently delivered babies and they are lovely. I adore these little darlings. But then, as I said earlier, having a child should be a woman’s decision. Moreover, the couple in question should be prepared financially, emotionally, and with every aspect to bring up a child well. It isn’t a cake walk. I believe, it’s about time our society breaks this bubble and moves out of the “first marriage-then procreation model.” Sigh! It will take quite a long time for this transformation though.
We all know people who genuinely care for us will never push us in to anything we are not prepared for. And in case it does come from our loved ones then we all know it’s the peer pressure that they are dealing with. Most of the times it's the societal pressure that our loved ones succumb to.
Nonetheless, till this bubble exists, there will be women like me who will laugh at it, try and make their way out of it, and one day perhaps, will announce the birth of a little bundle of joy. As they say, “Never say Never!”
P.S.: The curious case of aging ovaries is still unresolved! Wink! Wink!