Joy in the little things of Life!!

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Potter, Writer, Blogger, Quiller, Avid Reader, Chatter Box, Traveller, Foodie, photo crazy, Orchid lover, FB addict, and an enthusiast.... I work on extremes... You'll either find me laughing insanely or discussing something seriously serious.... I suffer from a laughter disorder...I am a lover of arts and crafts and anything that's colorful, bright and beautiful which includes my plants and my little lovely birdies... I am a mad friend, an insane daughter, a crazy wife and an unconventional sister... I choose to love, laugh and live!! My smile is contagious....So be careful :)

Monday, January 13, 2014

On Daily Soaps and Enlightenment

These days I am on a research mission, picking up subjects that were earlier left unattended by me. I have picked up a new pair of lenses as well and I can now look at things from a different perspective. Recently, I decided to indulge in some of the daily soaps on our national television and see if my perspective on them could change. I was amazed to find out that these soaps were not at all what I had heard or thought about them. I always detested them and I must admit I am guilty to bits to have neglected these wonderful ladies on screen. 2 days.... just 2 days and I am enlightened. In fact, this morning R accepted that he had finally seen the Halo over my head. In tears I ran towards the mirror, my right leg first and then the left and I talked to myself. If you think I had done this before, then you are wrong. I have learnt it from these soaps. I feel so elated. Not only this, these soaps have also taught me some of the most important lessons of life. I am amazed at how fast and how far our society has grown. I shall not keep these gems with me alone. Hence you are welcome to be enlightened as well.

Five Valuable Lessons for Women:

If you are not married at least 4 times,you are not married at all: Five years of my marriage and I am still with just one husband. Darn! I felt like a failure after I saw that this leading lady was preparing for her 4th wedding with her second husband. Success, really means that you have to be married at least 4 times in one lifetime. Each marriage has to be celebrated with pomp and joy. After all, marriage is just for fun and frolic, is it not? And it is mandatory to hate all four respective husbands because in all probability they will either be your business rivals or they could be friends with your enemies. Also, you have to ensure that all your husbands are happy after the wedding and you have to mandatorily fast for them on Karvachauth. Most of them will love aaloo ka paratha too. I was almost in tears when I saw this. See, this is exactly why men across the globe want Indian women. Because, irrespective of everything, she will still fast for him. Our society has become so advanced yet Indian values are so intact. I am sobbing, already!

You cannot marry the man you love: What needs to be noted is that you will never ever end up marrying the one you love. The logic is simple. There are 100%  chances that however young he is, he will certainly have a past. A past where a woman he loved wore green mascaras, thick black kajal, maroon lipstick, vermilion that started from the Nalasopara of her head and ran through Marine lines on her forehead. She broke his heart and ran away or perhaps died in a car accident. Do not feel relieved that she is dead unless her face is shown when her dead body arrives. Because the dead almost always come back. If the first wife doesn’t resurrect and arrive then chances are quite high that your best friend will suddenly become devilish and marry the man you love. So watch out for your best friends. To tell you, I have two best friends... R is in extreme DANGER!

Talk to yourself so loud that everyone can hear it but you: We have all read that one must sit and spend some time with oneself. This leads to self realization. Based on this concept the women in these soaps talk to themselves. Usually about a plan they plot or about how they feel about their 4 husbands. The key here is that you must compliment your inner words with your expressions. Say, you are planning to save your 4th husband from the clutches of his third wife who is a witch. So you must furrow your eyebrows, shrink your eyes, blink them frequently and gently shake your head first to the left and then to the right. Then lift your head a little up and then a little down. You may also try shedding a few tears but ensure that the kajal remains intact. It isn’t easy at first but then practice makes a man perfect....Oops, sorry a woman too!

The attire and make up matter the most: See it’s very easy. We all believe we are "good women". Hence do not wear heavy make up and heavy jewellery. As far as possible wear cotton suits and sarees. If you are a little modern yet the sati savitri of the house then you can at the most wear a polyester suit with light makeup. Your mascara should be negligible, thin line of kajal, long hair, small vermilion, light pink lipstick. And the most important thing your mangalsutra should be long enough to touch your belly button at least. You may try for one which reaches till your knees as well. But if you are the wicked kind, do not worry. Wear the most expensive jewelery and the most gorgeous make up with snake bindi’s on your forehead. Drape yourself in the most beautiful chiffon sarees with backless blouse. Ensure that your kajal is very thick so that when you talk to yourself like in Point No. 3, your eyes should be able to express every word well. If you belong to the group which is the meanest of all then you can wear tight jeans, short tops and enjoy sips of wine. After all it’s only the mean and wicked women who wear makeups and relish drinks. Other’s just wear a mask and drink “adrak wali chai” which they make for the entire junta in the house!

Babies are made only on rainy days in an isolated place: Just like animals have a mating season, these soaps have taught me that humans too have a mating seasonIrrespective of your status with your current husband, Ding Dong (Read my post on aging ovaries to know in detail about the DING DONG Funda) can only happen on a rainy day when you will certainly be caught in an isolated place outside with him. Such isolated places usually have a place to stay warm, have a comfortable bed and even a kitchen to make coffee. The hormones level will be so high that the next day you will feel morning sickness and you will test positive for pregnancy. The challenge however lies in finding such a place. You may want to try the outskirts of the city or visit a village for some adventure. And do not worry about your future husbands. They are generous enough to accept you with your previous husbands children. Believe me, the kids will love him too. I did not know life was so simply profound. I am touched.

I am thrilled to have spent so much time on these generous and informative soaps. I know what you are thinking - 2 days and just 5 lessons? However the good news is that I plan to invest and indulge a little more till I am completely submerged from head to toe in these valuable lessons of life.

Till then, I will order my knee length Mangalsutra and Google about this isolated place where babies are made.... Don’t you know it rains often in Bangalore?


1 comment:

Sreeja Praveen said...

Seriously, Khushi !! This was one hell of a post :-) ! everything right on the nail :D
One more thing, your family will have a 'paarivaarik kaarobaar' , there will be n+1 number of problems, financial or otherwise, still you'll wear the most expensive of the dresses and live in the most palatial of all buildings... :D