I am angry, in fact I am very angry and upset. I have tonnes of things piled up on my head today and I need to complete them at the earliest. But I want to write. I am not the kinds who can keep everything wrapped up inside my heart and fake a smile easily. I have to vent it out to feel better.
I have always loved kids. To all the smart ones out there who are dying to ask me, then why don’t I have one of my own? You can read my post on this hot topic here (http://khushizdiary.blogspot.in/2014/01/the-curious-case-of-aging-ovaries-and.html). Now back to what I was saying, I love kids. I adore them. And there is a reason behind it. Kids are not manipulative like their adult counterparts. Kids, don’t cheat or stab you on your back. Kids, don’t gossip. Kids are honest and most of the times upfront too. They speak their mind and have no inhibitions. I always believed that kids are a better company until this morning. One call from "A" and this bubble that I lived in for years blasted leaving me clueless and agonized.
A is a lovely mother of a lovely little 6 year old. She informed me that her daughter has excelled in her academics and scored a brilliant 97%.
Woohoo!! I jumped and congratulated her. "Your little girl excels in everything", I screamed joyfully on the phone. But the reaction from A was faint.
"Khushi, my daughter hasn’t scored well in other things. She has scored only 89% in Confidence, Honesty, Integrity, and Carefulness. A was certainly worried.
Was I listening things? The moppet was ranked and judged on these parameters? I was stunned.
"You must be kidding", I tried faking a giggle.
"No, no, she has really scored pathetic in these things." A replied sadly.
"But wasn’t she doing well in her extra curricular activities? And she has won several awards too. So how could she be not good with her confidence and all that." I tried understanding this whole concept.
"God knows", A sighed and hung up.
I felt a whirlpool and a hurricane and a tsunami of anger roaring inside my heart and lungs and a strange pain in my rib cage. Are kids as little as 6 getting judged on these parameters? And how do teachers arrive at this score? "Oh, you little boy, you haven’t been able to learn this poem that your forefathers wrote 4 centuries ago. Though the poem holds no significance as such you must still leanr it. Now that you couldn't, you score a 50% on confidence. Now you little girl in the corner, you have not been keeping your books inside the bag as I instructed you too hence you score a 20% on carefulness. And you little girl, laughing and giggling happily, you share your lunch box with everyone and others also share their lunch box with you. Sharing is a bad thing and you have no integrity at all. So you get a 30% in Integrity. But you the silent little lad, you have been learning all that I have been teaching and preaching without asking any question, hence you score a 100 % in honesty.
Grrrrrrr......I am annoyed.
Come to think of it. Are we being really fair to our children? Are we not pushing them in to a tunnel where they will be judged, at times humiliated and then made to sit in the corner? Are we not teaching them to silently comply to the non rationale norms of the society? And are we being good parents at all by accepting all that schools have to offer in the name of education?
Teachers of course need to inform parents about the child’s strength and weaknesses. It helps parents in better parenting. It helps the child to understand the difference between right and wrong and that’s how kids learn. Teachers and schools play such a vital role in guiding and molding kids in to better humans. But we have absolutely no right to judge a child on his honesty or integrity or whatever. I am not against teachers or schools. I am against this mad race that kids are forced to run.
As a child I looked up to my teachers for guidance and support. I was a very naughty child and my teachers will vouch for it. Throwing ink on others, playing games during history class, looking outside the window whenever I got bored and what not. Yet my mother was never told that her daughter is careless or dishonest or has low confidence. My strengths were channelized in the right direction and my weaknesses were worked upon. I was punished for my mistakes and appreciated for my achievements. I guess I was extremely fortunate to have wonderful teachers who were passionate about their work. My teachers loved us. They were stern yet affectionate. And whatever little I am today, a large part of the credit goes to my teachers.
Stop judging children. Encourage their curiosity. Support their little ambition. Participate in their seamless imagination. Lend a hand when they fall. Caress their wounds. Help them become better humans tomorrow. Don’t rank them. We are here to nurture tender little wings of our children so that they can fly but all we are doing is mercilessly chopping off their soft feathers.
I have a problem and I am in agonized.
Angry, Anxious, and Annoyed,
I am sharing this wonderful video that further explains my agony.