Inside it runs, makes noise, laughs, screams and makes me feel it’s presence. I run from it, yes I have been running all my life. But now it catches me by my neck, stands in front of me, stares at me, eye to eye. I still try to run, run as fast as I can. It chases me. I hide but I can’t. I want to live believing it doesn’t exist but it talks. It speaks of the harsh and ugly reality. I see its dirty side and I turn my face, away from it.
I know I can’t help it. It will exist, inside me, in front of me, around me, everywhere. Either today or tomorrow I will have to accept. But how??? Oh how??? How do I tell this to the little mass of blood that beats inside me? It does not accept neither believes. It fails, terribly. I weep, sob, cry and rave, helplessly. But nothing changes. The dark light engulfs me in its killing silence. The voice will never be heard. The eyes will never see. But every cell will feel it.
She is gone, very very far. The era ends. Or perhaps a new era begins. A new start. She will find peace, love and warmth. I smile. The silence speaks. The darkness fades away. Subtle rays of peace touch upon me. I hear her voice inside me, just like always. She laughs. She smiles. She is happy. Away from the clutches of mortality, she lives with the divine. She looks beautiful just like ever or may be more. She is free.
She holds my hand with affection. I know she is here. Nothing is lost. Its the mortal world that loses. The spiritual world still connects. She touches my heart with love.
I shall face the truth. I shall not run anymore. I shall see in to it’s eye. I shall accept. It is the indelible truth. But I am not scared anymore.
Nothing changes. She is and will always my beloved. I love her and she loves me. Love lives forever. She embraces me. I feel the divinity. I feel her love inside me, in every cell. Yes, there is a truth that exists, death is indelible. But then there is another truth that lives in parallel. Love is forever beyond the reach of everything.